Mwahahahahahaaha! (or) Evil Cackle

It takes a lot to make a good villain. The type of villain that will forever haunt you nights is the type of villain that every truly good story needs. In fact, if a story doesn’t have a good arch nemesis, the story is usually rubbish. You can have a not-so-good plot but you most definably cannot have a not-so-good villain. The evil guy is vital. That is why I am writing a post to recognize all villains in movies and books. It is about time the human race realizes that our literature and entertainment rides on the back of creepy and evil characters.

Villain #1~James Moriarty

 

James Moriarty:He is just classic. He’s such a classic villain that we needed four pictures of him. He has been repeated in shows and movies for ages, and I think he just keeps getting better. Better, except for that girl Moriarty in Elementary.In fact, when I found out the the show Elementary had a female Watson and Moriarty, I almost threw myself off the roof of the hospital. I have not actually watched Elementary, (mostly because of the way it drove me to such desperate measures) so correct me if I’m mistaken about Moriarty being a girl. I heard rumors that Hugh Lauren was the actual Moriarty. In fact, I hope I’m mistaken. Tell me if I am. It may save my life and/or make my day.

Anyway, Moriarty. Sherlock Holmes described him as a consulting criminal. When the Mafia and gangs were out of their depth, which is almost always, JM would help them out in return for world domination. Moriarty is known for outwitting the outwit-able Sherlock Holmes. This in itself is an impressive feat. Moriarty was such a good villain because of how darn smart he was. The truth is, a stupid villain is a stupid villain. [Let me rephrase that.] An unintelligent villain is a weak character. And Moriarty was smart in many ways. Even on the subject of villains: “Every fairytale needs a good old fashion villain”. Man, I missed him.

Villain #2~Loki

Unlike Moriarty, Loki is loved because he can make people feel sorry for him. He had daddy issues which he uses to justify his attempts at world domination. Loki is a wanna-be king and honey you should see him in a crown. He is skilled in the art of deception, as in he can talk his way out of anything as well as create life-like images of himself. His weapons are magic, glow sticks of destiny, and sacred ice cubes. Plus, he totally rocks scarves. Like Moriarty, Loki will succeed in giving you a heart attack even while he is “dead”. Loki is truly burdened with glorious purpose.

Villain #3~MegaMind

MegaMind: Incredibly handsome criminal genius and master of all villainy. His giant blue head contains his giant [maybe] blue brain. Like Loki, you have to feel sorry for the guy. He grew up in prison and was picked on at shool. (no that is not a typo) MegaMind’s arch enemy is Metro Man, defender of Metro City. Besides having a bunch of flashing buttons, this anti-hero has a minion named Minion, brain bots in plenty, and a dehydration gun. MegaMind is notorious for his often-made mistakes, which usually result with him being arrested and/or beaten up. But you have to admit, this guy sure has good presentation.

Villain #4~Gru

Gru is such a lovely villain. He is almost as unsuccessful as MegaMind, yet he still managed to steal (pause for affect) THE MOON! Gru’s freeze ray is the best device to have if one does not want to stand in line for one’s morning mocha. The way Gru is evil is like no other. Who else has a house full of endangered animals. Who else tips the barrista after stealing from her. Who else creates balloon animals, just so he can pop them. No one. (but maybe for good reasons…) Like Loki, he rocks the scarf. Like MagaMind, he doesn’t have any hair (but he does have lots and lots of Minions). Like Moriarty, Gru has a delightful accent. The only thing he’s missing is three little girls…

AND NOW WE INTERRUPT THIS POST TO SAY THAT WE WILL NOW BE MOVING QUICKLY THROUGH THE REST OF THE VILLAINS BECAUSE NO ONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND OR OTHERWISE SHOULD SPEND ALL MORNING GUSHING ABOUT SUPER VILLAINS

Villain #5~The Red Queen

Come on people! Lets not be sexist! It is about time the Ladies sported a female villain. And this one will behead anyone she doesn’t like…

Villain #6~Darth Vader

The dude is Luke’s FATHER! WHY didn’t anyone TELL me!! I must have cried all day when I found this out.

Villain #7~LOTR

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAM!!!! These guys still scare me no matter how many times I see them.

Villain #8~Voldemort

Ehh…never mind.

Villain #9~Vizzini

His evilness was short but sweet. Short and sweet.

Villain #10~Count Olaf

Ah yes. Our dear Count Olaf and his creepy uni-brow. He’s an actor you know. Quite love-e-ly. You should really see him perform.

Villain?#11~My Old Enemy

And then, of course, there is my old enemy.

…STAIRS.

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Respect the Villains.

Forget it, and they will be out to get you.

Sibling Relationships

Yes, I know. You weren’t expecting this. A full post with writing. Well, get used to it.

Today I am writing for one special reason. My sister Shahrazed is having her 17th birthday. But I’ll get back to that later. First, I’m going to talk about Sibling Relationships. Shahrazed and I like to classify any sibling relationships we come across into certain categories. I am going to share with you some of these categories.

Category #1: the Holmes Siblings

The older brother who cares about the younger, no matter how much the younger hates him back. Mycroft, older, smarter, and more liked by the parents. Sherlock, younger, almost as smart (but in different ways), and more attractive. It’s an interesting relationship, because at some point the two had a fight and Sherlock apparently never forgave Mycroft. They don’t get along, thank goodness. God save the Queen if they did. it would be the end of the world. But they don’t get along. When they do get together, they spend their time insulting each other. It’s tragic, really.

Category #2 Sense and Sensibility~Elinor and Marianne

Elinor, the older daughter, is logical, smart, and less prone to rashness. Marianne is dramatic and will follow whatever her heart tells her whether it is a good idea or not. Elinor can contain herself. Marianne, less so. Elinor will look after Marianne, and maybe insert a little logic into her life. Wise elder, fun-loving younger. Classic.

Category #3 Frozen~Elsa and Anna

This Sibling Relationship is very similar to the Sense and Sensibility one. Elsa, the eldest, is struggling for control the entire movie, while Anna, the younger daughter, decides to marry a man she has known for one day. Anna is fun and perky, but maybe could think things through a little better. Elsa over thinks things. All in all, they make a good team, ones’ strength making up for the others’ weakness.

Category #4 The Trio

The Baudelaires are probably the most darling and most tragic Sibling Relationship. Violet, the eldest, is an inventor. Klaus is a researcher. And Sunny is a cook. The three of them never fight, almost always understand each other, and never get their way. They have a very tragic life full of death, weeping, and fires, but through it all they stick together. To them, family is the most important thing. (Sweet, isn’t it?)

A Non-Category.

Kit, Jacques, and Lemony Snicket. Let’s give them a moment of silence.

Category #5 Twins

What would a summing-up-of-sibling-relationships be without a set of twins? Their are many, many books and movies that have a set of twins. The Weasleys, like the Stole brothers, are known for being malicious and pulling awesome pranks. The twins always team up and cause mischief for the greater good of man kind or otherwise. Now I can’t speak for twins, considering that I don’t have one, but I can say that I doubt that two siblings can get along that well constantly. Every sibling is prone to fight, whether they are twins or not. The stereo type for twins is something you should apply with care.

Category #6 Odin’s Sons

For my part, this has to be my favorite sibling duo besides the Holmes’. Who doesn’t like the strong, amiable, and slightly stupid brother better then the smart, magical, and good-looking frost giant? Yeah, never mind. Thor, future king, is often hindered by his evil brother Loki. Loki (rightly) believes that he was slighted by his adopted dad Odin when he crowned Thor king. This opens up to epic battles between the two brothers. Loki has no regret over the loss of friendship with Thor. Thor does, and he keeps naively beleiveing Loki can be persuaded to doing good. Lets not even think about what would happen if they teamed up for once.

By the way, if you think this post is biest in any way, don’t complain to me. Everyone knows Loki is better then Thor.

Category #7 Denethor’s Sons

Sadly, there are no pictures with Boromir and Faramir together. But they are both smiling! Boromir is more loved by Denethor. In fact, when Boromir dies, Denethor wishes Faramir is dead in his brother’s place. (this doesn’t make for a very good father/son relationship). I’m not sure, but I’m guessing that Faramir and Boromir didn’t get along so well, considering the favoritism going on. But Faramir did seem thoroughly sad at the news of his brother’s death. Can we get some fanart of the two as children? Anyone?

Category #8 Us

I’m sure that you are quite tired of the siblings by now. So I have only one more left.

We can now go back to my sister’s birthday. This is Me and Shahrazed. I don’t know how one would classify our relationship. Sometimes I fear it is a Thor & Loki relationship. Other times we resemble the Holmes siblings. Whatever we are, though, I would like to say publicly that I am glad I have a relationship with her, whatever type it is. Happy birthday! Thanks for being my sister!