It takes a lot to make a good villain. The type of villain that will forever haunt you nights is the type of villain that every truly good story needs. In fact, if a story doesn’t have a good arch nemesis, the story is usually rubbish. You can have a not-so-good plot but you most definably cannot have a not-so-good villain. The evil guy is vital. That is why I am writing a post to recognize all villains in movies and books. It is about time the human race realizes that our literature and entertainment rides on the back of creepy and evil characters.
Villain #1~James Moriarty
James Moriarty:He is just classic. He’s such a classic villain that we needed four pictures of him. He has been repeated in shows and movies for ages, and I think he just keeps getting better. Better, except for that girl Moriarty in Elementary.In fact, when I found out the the show Elementary had a female Watson and Moriarty, I almost threw myself off the roof of the hospital. I have not actually watched Elementary, (mostly because of the way it drove me to such desperate measures) so correct me if I’m mistaken about Moriarty being a girl. I heard rumors that Hugh Lauren was the actual Moriarty. In fact, I hope I’m mistaken. Tell me if I am. It may save my life and/or make my day.
Anyway, Moriarty. Sherlock Holmes described him as a consulting criminal. When the Mafia and gangs were out of their depth, which is almost always, JM would help them out in return for world domination. Moriarty is known for outwitting the outwit-able Sherlock Holmes. This in itself is an impressive feat. Moriarty was such a good villain because of how darn smart he was. The truth is, a stupid villain is a stupid villain. [Let me rephrase that.] An unintelligent villain is a weak character. And Moriarty was smart in many ways. Even on the subject of villains: “Every fairytale needs a good old fashion villain”. Man, I missed him.
Villain #2~Loki
Unlike Moriarty, Loki is loved because he can make people feel sorry for him. He had daddy issues which he uses to justify his attempts at world domination. Loki is a wanna-be king and honey you should see him in a crown. He is skilled in the art of deception, as in he can talk his way out of anything as well as create life-like images of himself. His weapons are magic, glow sticks of destiny, and sacred ice cubes. Plus, he totally rocks scarves. Like Moriarty, Loki will succeed in giving you a heart attack even while he is “dead”. Loki is truly burdened with glorious purpose.
Villain #3~MegaMind
MegaMind: Incredibly handsome criminal genius and master of all villainy. His giant blue head contains his giant [maybe] blue brain. Like Loki, you have to feel sorry for the guy. He grew up in prison and was picked on at shool. (no that is not a typo) MegaMind’s arch enemy is Metro Man, defender of Metro City. Besides having a bunch of flashing buttons, this anti-hero has a minion named Minion, brain bots in plenty, and a dehydration gun. MegaMind is notorious for his often-made mistakes, which usually result with him being arrested and/or beaten up. But you have to admit, this guy sure has good presentation.
Villain #4~Gru
Gru is such a lovely villain. He is almost as unsuccessful as MegaMind, yet he still managed to steal (pause for affect) THE MOON! Gru’s freeze ray is the best device to have if one does not want to stand in line for one’s morning mocha. The way Gru is evil is like no other. Who else has a house full of endangered animals. Who else tips the barrista after stealing from her. Who else creates balloon animals, just so he can pop them. No one. (but maybe for good reasons…) Like Loki, he rocks the scarf. Like MagaMind, he doesn’t have any hair (but he does have lots and lots of Minions). Like Moriarty, Gru has a delightful accent. The only thing he’s missing is three little girls…
AND NOW WE INTERRUPT THIS POST TO SAY THAT WE WILL NOW BE MOVING QUICKLY THROUGH THE REST OF THE VILLAINS BECAUSE NO ONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND OR OTHERWISE SHOULD SPEND ALL MORNING GUSHING ABOUT SUPER VILLAINS
Villain #5~The Red Queen
Come on people! Lets not be sexist! It is about time the Ladies sported a female villain. And this one will behead anyone she doesn’t like…
Villain #6~Darth Vader
The dude is Luke’s FATHER! WHY didn’t anyone TELL me!! I must have cried all day when I found this out.
Villain #7~LOTR
SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAM!!!! These guys still scare me no matter how many times I see them.
Villain #8~Voldemort
Ehh…never mind.
Villain #9~Vizzini
His evilness was short but sweet. Short and sweet.
Villain #10~Count Olaf
Ah yes. Our dear Count Olaf and his creepy uni-brow. He’s an actor you know. Quite love-e-ly. You should really see him perform.
Villain?#11~My Old Enemy
And then, of course, there is my old enemy.
…STAIRS.
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Respect the Villains.
Forget it, and they will be out to get you.
Year on Reel 